Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lie To Me

I'm back .. thanks for being patient while I was away ... interested to hear what you have to say about this topic. Theresa

Yesterday, my son lied to me, my business partner lied to me, my manfriend lied to me and a client lied to me (those are the ones I know for sure.) I am hoping that this was an unusual day. But the more I learn about our capacity to lie, the more I believe this happens to each of us every day, more than we would like to know. Research suggests that people lie approximately three times within 10 minutes of meeting someone new. In fact, one article I read last year suggested “we probably engage in 1,000 lies and deceptions in a day” (if you include non-verbal deceptions).

None of the lies I was told were malicious. Of the four untruths, two were told to self-protect, one to protect my feelings. The motivation for the remaining fib is still a mystery that will probably unfold at a later date. I was always good at recognizing when I was not getting the whole truth. But now I am obsessed with determining truth or lie. My mind is filled with “why does he want to know, what did she mean by that, what is the real reason he called, what is her real opinion” and on and on and on.

So, I don’t want therapy…write back and tell me what is your personal favorite tool for telling if someone is lying to you. Is it eye dilation, fidgeting, sweating, ums and ahs? Or do you have something unique to share? And don’t lie to me…..I will know.

2 comments: said...

Interesting. Favorite? Maybe eye aversion...looking away however fleetingly is a dead giveaway of untruth or major discomfort. Pregnant pause while position is formulated. Feels different depending on caution with untruth vs. special benign care (I think).

Kristin said...

I would say lack of eye contact usually makes me question whether the person is telling the truth. It isn't 100% accurate for lie detection. However, if I know the person and am familiar with their nonverbals & patterns of eye contact .. it is usually easy to tell if they are acting different.