Does A Fresh Coat of Paint Really Matter? What is the Motive Behind the Message?

On October 12th, United Airlines President & CEO, Jeff Smisek, will present to the Executives Club of Chicago. Regretfully, I will be unable to attend.

I am baffled by his generally well crafted and delivered video presentation currently playing on United/Continental flights. Will someone please ask him, in a polite and respectful manner, what caused/prompted Mr. Smisek to believe that his message to his passengers (clients) should tout the “painting of airplanes” as progress in the coupling of the two airlines?

Other than the time I boarded a United Airline flight to Des Moines that looked like a Mr. Potato Head with its grey body attached to a red, blue and white nose, there has never been much interest in the paint job. Branding through paint may have been high on the transition team’s list of priorities, or maybe it was just any easy and visually obvious step toward integration. But a major step toward integration? Not hardly, from a passengers perspective.

Mind you, I am not complaining about how the process of combining the two giant birds is moving along. The merger and subsequent rolling-into-one would be a daunting task for even the heartiest CEO. Nonetheless, as a communication strategy, it is baffling to me why painting the planes was front and center in the on-flight CEO video now seen by passengers over the past several months. At first, I thought maybe that is the only thing he has to talk about? Now, however, there is an updated version of Mr. Smisek’s promotional video and he continues to discuss the paint job. As a continuous assimilator of human behavior, in particular - the thought process that goes into formal, practiced, vetted communication - I am anxious to know the motive behind the message.

Anyone know the answer?

Please, would someone ask the question on October 12?

Until then, I remain perplexed.

The Effect of Visual Imagery on Smokers

Guest Post By Jason Schwartz

The headline on msnbc.com was “These cigarette packs could scare you into quitting.” A new law signed in June by President Obama requires cigarette companies to post large, visual warnings on every pack. The FDA intends to use curt verbiage alongside the new images of corpses, cancer patients, and diseased lungs and teeth as part of their repertoire to scare potential smokers from starting as well as encourage established smokers to think twice.

The new visual warnings are a step in the right direction. Visual learning is a cornerstone of the education system in general. As much as 60% of every classroom is occupied by visual thinkers and as a result, this new initiative aims at what could be considered a majority of the consumer public.

A related study published in the October 2010 issue of the Journal of Consumer Psychology looked at food packaging and its effect on overeaters. Their results showed that people ate more food from packages with many items pictured on it than from packages with few items pictured on it, illustrating the power of visual impulses and the depth to which they drive our consumption.

I give the FDA credit for realizing that the battle lines need to be redrawn in the war on smoking. However, there are many who believe the FDA is implementing this new strategy incorrectly. A recent paper in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests a warning label stressing death and mortality could, in fact, be counterproductive. The researchers found that death-related warnings led to more positive attitudes toward cigarette use in people who saw smoking as cool, sexy, and essential to their self-esteem. Interestingly enough these same people had the opposite reaction to warnings that smoking makes one less attractive.

With this in mind, perhaps the FDA would be better served with images that steered clear of death and instead, employed images of ugliness. Even comedian Lewis Black agreed during his segment on The Daily Show “Back in Black” by saying “if you really want to keep them (children) from lighting up, launch a pro-smoking campaign that links cigarettes with virginity.” As ridiculous as this sounds, it makes the point that the FDA seems to be missing.

While I commend the FDA for realizing they need to be more visual in their attempt to warn consumers against the dangers of smoking, I would suggest they think outside the box when it comes to the substance of these new warnings.

The Medium is the Message

Mediated communication expert Marshall McLuhan once said, “The medium is the message.” In saying this, McLuhan asserts that the way in which a message is delivered to its audience has a greater impact on message recipients than the message content itself.

The available mediums through which we communicate and receive information are changing. We are moving from the radio and newspaper to various forms of online social media like Facebook, Twitter, Google, and YouTube. Some people even have the ability to skip over television commercials with the invention of DVR and some can surf the Internet during a flight using airplane Wi-Fi systems.

Changes like these are vastly changing how we communicate, learn, and process information. Instead of leaving a voicemail, we leave a wall post. Instead of watching a live rerun on TV, we watch the recorded premiere. Instead of only connecting to the Internet through a chord, we can connect via satellite almost anywhere. We now live in a world where we have immediate access to more information, from more sources, than ever before.

Do you feel that McLuhan was correct in his assertion that ‘the medium is the message’? How has the emergence of new forms of communication changed the way you interact with others around you? Do you think this change is good or bad?

Examples of Good Corporate Communication Do Exist

In several previous blogs, we’ve highlighted examples of poor communication. From poorly worded media statements of companies in crisis making horrible word choices to poorly phrased email statements to downright awful corporate announcements which highlighted insensitive, inconsiderate and thoughtless communication by corporate leadership – poor communication is everywhere. However, occasionally, I run across an example of corporate communication done right.

A couple weeks ago, I read about the acquisition of deal-a-day website Woot by the e-commerce giant Amazon. I knew nothing about the Woot brand, their corporate culture or the deals of the acquisition, but the letter to employees written by CEO Matt Rutledge was nothing short of brilliant. He utilizes Cicero’s model of successful communication utilizing three essential ingredients: charm – teach – move.

For the full text, click here.

Throughout the letter, Mr. Rutledge employs Cicero’s model, but let’s look at a few specific things he did right:

1. His style is consistent with the brand and the corporate culture. A quick look at What is Woot? page on the website shows the company is snarky, clever, self-deprecating and uses humor during their customer interactions. Mr. Rutledge’s letter to employees utilizes the same tone in the very first sentence – “I know I say this every time I find a picture of an adorable kitten, but please set aside 20 minutes to carefully read this entire email.” His tone and clever delivery continue throughout the letter until the very last line – “Also, there will be six muffins waiting in the company break room, courtesy of the nice folks at Amazon.com. Welcome to the family!”

2. He directly addresses with employees how this change will impact them. He writes, “We plan to continue to run Woot the way we have always run Woot – with a wall of ideas and a dartboard. From a practical point of view, it will be as if we are simply adding one person to the organizational hierarchy, except that one person will just happen to be a billion-dollar company.”

3. He embraces what he knows will be employees’ “top 5 burning questions” (which really turn out to be only four questions). Nonetheless, the format is clear, concise and demonstrates he knows his employees and what their concerns will be. He outlines that company data forums, staffing, leadership and culture will remain unchanged, therefore quieting restlessness among the ranks about how these changes will impact them and their jobs.

4. He is likeable – his funny, self-deprecating style puts people at ease. He knows this news is big for the company and its employees, but he utilizes language to make the changes relatable to his audience. “This is definitely an emotional day for me. The feelings I’m experiencing are similar to what I felt in college on graduation day: excitement about getting a check from my folks combined with nausea from a hellacious bender the night before.”

While this style of writing would not work for every person, company or audience, the communication lesson is clear. As a communicator, your goal should be to provide your audience with content that grabs and keeps their attention. Integrating your personality, perfecting your tone and utilizing the corporate culture provide a positive experience for the audience and move them to action.

Not Minding Your Own Business

By Bill Grimes

‘You only have one chance to make a good first impression.’

What a curse! That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. What’s your reaction to someone obsessed with making a good first impression? They appear overeager, unnatural, even suspicious. However they come across – too chatty, too quiet, say “I” and “me” too often – is not likely to be the real person anyway.

If you’re overly concerned about making a good first impression, you’re putting the focus on yourself; kind of selfish when you think about it. You don’t want people to walk away from a first encounter with you thinking, “He’s really stuck on himself.”

The advice usually inserted here about how to make a good first impression is, RELAX. Easier said than done that first time you meet a key member of your client’s team, or your future brother-in-law, but it can be done. It takes a little bit of work, perspective and, like most uncommon events, and meeting a total stranger for the first time is uncommon, a little bit of practice.

You can relax somewhat by giving yourself a couple simple tasks. When you’re introduced, shake the person’s hand looking him or her in the eyes long enough to see what color they are. Say their name, ‘Nice to meet you, Barbara,’ or something similar. Besides giving yourself a couple tasks, saying their name helps you remember it and conveys your interest in them. This won’t relieve all the pressure, but a lot of it.

Keep a proper perspective. It’s not about you. It’s about them. Do some homework ahead of time. With Google, Facebook, LinkedIn and company and organization websites you can learn something about the person or people you are going to meet. Find out what they are interested in. Maybe your brother went to the same school or you’re from the same hometown. Don’t force this kind of chit-chat; you don’t want to come off like you were spying. Wait, for the situation will present itself naturally. Show interest. Ask a couple questions, but mainly LISTEN.

And keep this in mind, most worthwhile encounters reoccur. That first time will not be your only chance to make a good impression.

Everyone Benefits From Communication Coaching

If I ever needed proof that EVERYONE can benefit from communication coaching I got it last night watching John Manning, Harvard Law School faculty member, discuss President Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court Justice vacancy. Mr. Manning had two terrible speech habits. One, he preceded at least half of his statements with "I think." And second, he used the intensifier, very. His nonverbals could be the subject of another posting entirely. This is simple really – Mr. Manning, you do not need to say "I think" before making a statement. Give us credit for being able to discern fact from opinion. And, if you are using the phrase to emphasize that you are not sure of what you are about to say, then you do not belong on national television. As for the repetitive use of very – just stop it – give it up for Lent or for the year. When your period of abstention is over, you will find that you didn't miss it at all. And neither did we.

What’s in a Face?

Another guest post this week from fellow ZMFer Eliza Shepherd ...

In a previous post, Theresa discussed the growing inquiry about the hit television show on Fox called “Lie to Me.” What makes the show so intriguing is that it is based off the work of Dr. Paul Ekman, a world-renown face reading expert and “human lie detector.” Through his research, Dr. Ekman found that “micro-expressions” (brief facial expressions) can reveal true emotions a person may be trying to conceal, such as deceit. Dr. Ekman’s work illustrates just how powerful and integral nonverbal cues are in communicating effectively. Consider the following:

1. The most successful communicators are masters of emotional intelligence.
   
2. Processing of nonverbal facial cues occurs without our conscious awareness, and when the cues are brought to our attention, we cannot ignore them.
   
3. A mere 100 millisecond exposure to a face is sufficient enough to form specific trait judgments about an individual.
   
4. This rapid and unconscious processing of morphological cues makes physiognomy a potent component in first impressions.
   
5. Facial appearances of competence predict candidate electability. Todorov, Mandisodza, Goren, and Hall (2005) found that inferences of competence based from facial appearance accurately predicted the outcomes in U.S. Congressional election 68.8% of the time.
   
6. Remember, estimates suggest that 80% of communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal cues, whether they are facial expressions, posture, tone, or eye contact etc., are more important than the words you use.

Take this test to discover how good you are at reading facial expressions.

Eliza Shepherd combines her background in Psychology with practical research experience in impression management, group decision making, nonverbal communication and leadership in her role as Associate Consultant. Shepherd lends her expertise in research design and analysis to ZMF’s jury research projects nationwide, including focus groups, mock trials, post-trial interviews, zOpinions (online surveys), and venue attitudes surveys.

Insensitive-Inconsiderate-Down Right Thoughtless

Rarely does poor communication cause outrage. But last week I received the ANNOUNCEMENT below via email.

XYZ COMPANY
CORPORATE OFFICE

DEATH NOTICE

DATE

We are sorry to announce the death of Sam Jones, Age 22, son of Fred Jones, Vice President, Finance. He is survived by his parents, Fred and Sally, and three sisters, Mary, Jane and Cindy.

Visitation will be held on DATE from TIMES with a memorial service to follow at 7:00 p.m. at:

LOCATION
ADDRESS

Interment will be private.

The family has requested that in lieu of flowers donations be made to:
NAME
ADDRESS

The Jones Family thanks everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers.

Signed,
Mr. CEO

The names are changed to protect the innocent…and the guilty. If you ever needed an example of poor, no, worse than poor, offensive corporate communication, this is it. There are so many communication don’ts; it is difficult to know where to begin. Most of you are probably already aghast and I need write no more. However, for the few who are not seeing the obvious, I continue. Additionally, anyone who works for a company that would communicate such a sensitive matter in this manner should print this blog and tender it to your CEO.

Most importantly we do not ‘announce’ a person’s death. We inform or tell or let you know or notify or make you aware. Just a brief peek at your online Thesaurus will present a myriad of words to work with. This posting has no offer of condolences to the family, friends or coworkers except one ‘sorry’ which is used as an adjective to modify the verb ‘are’ which modifies the verb ‘announce’. So apparently what they are sorry about is the ‘announcement’? It is just plain cold. No personal thought or effort went into this ‘announcement’.

How did this happen? One, it is the way it has always been done. The corporate headquarters says cavalierly, it has been “company policy for 40 years!” which means that no one on the team is thinking about how to communicate a ‘death notice’? Two, no one is thinking about it because it does not affect the company EBITDA. Three, there will be little or no honest feedback from the several hundred employees who will view the death notice on their email or the break room bulletin board because in a day or two it won’t matter. Four, most people will view it as cold, or neutral at best. Because they are not trained in subtleties of communication, it won’t feel right, but they will not be able to explain why.

From the company’s perspective, this is a missed opportunity to show that it has a caring side to it. In this particular case, the tragic death of the 22-year-old son of a long-time executive employee, known personally to the CEO (signee of the ANNOUNCEMENT) leaves the communication rife with possibilities. But, let’s for learning sake, say it is a line worker who no one but a handful of coworkers knew personally. It is still bewildering that this would be how a company would want its character to show up. Let’s write a possible replacement for this less than gracious posting. And maybe before ‘Fred’ comes back to work next week someone will have the decency to re-post or at least tear down the one on the lunchroom wall.

NOTICE OF ZMF EMPLOYEE FAMILY DEATH

This week, ZMF team member, Vice President of Finance, Fred Jones lost his 22-year-old son, Sam Jones, to a fatal accident. We at ZMF send our thoughts and/or prayers to Fred, his wife Sally and Sam’s sisters Mary, Jane and Cindy.

Fred will be out for the next few days tending to his family. Messages can be left for Fred on his email, F@zmf.com or on his company voice mail, extension 123.

Visitation for Sam will be held…. Etc.

This took me about five minutes or less. It could be better and it could be tailored to the specific personality of the company. “Forty years” of refinement should turn out a perfect piece. In today’s economy and political climate where the average person is looking at corporate America with a jaundiced eye to begin with, one would believe that CEOs would care more about visible compassion. It may be a challenge to appear genuinely empathetic in communication surrounding a layoff or plant closing but this…come on suits!

The Five “Es” of PowerPoint

For years now some people have been trying to tell other people how to use and how not to use PowerPoint (a particularly funny one, here). There are books, articles, videos, presentations, blogs and now there are even experts on Twitter (if your tweeting, follow me at @tzagnoli or our firm at @ZMF_LLC).

What is it that prevents us from heeding the advice that has been heaped upon us for over a decade now? My hypothesis is that we are confused, lazy, stubborn and cannot give up on three erroneous beliefs that we hold as truths.

1) “my content is different and it is impossible to make it interesting”
2) “my content is complex and it is impossible to simplify it”
3) “stop lights are red, money is green, yellow means warning, blue is for trust, purple is royal………”

No matter who you are or what you are presenting, your PowerPoint should uphold the five “Es”:

• Entertain
• Energize
• Emphasize
• Explain
• Evoke

1. Entertain. Every presentation needs a laugh or some eye candy to move it along. Audiences crave entertainment. With the internet it is easy to find video, photographs, cartoons and quotes that will give your audience a good chuckle. When members of an audience respond audibly, they become more involved in what you are saying. An involved audience makes your job easier. While finding entertaining material is a simple matter of searching, it does take time. Lots of it. Starting the night before your presentation limits your resources. Even if your content won’t be finished until hours (or minutes) before you take the stage, put your creative cap on long before. Make a library for yourself of visuals that might work in the future. You will surprise yourself how entertained you are as you build your treasure chest of wit. Here is one of my favorites.
   
   
2. Energize. Energy is the key component of dynamism and dynamism is central to credibility. Credibility is the foundation for everything you present. If people aren’t buying what you are selling, sit down. The phrase “short bursts of energy” explains it best. Your goal is to create a slide show that delivers short bursts of energy. One word on a slide will do this. So will a song, a sound, a photo or a lively animation.
   



3. Emphasize. Bigger is not necessarily the answer. Red is not the solution. Repetition works some of the time. Redundancy isn’t it. It is important to give emphasis where emphasis is due. The technique for PowerPoint is similar to that of good speaking skills when you are distinguishing the filler, from the point, from the really important point. Your voice and your body are your tools. When you want to cue the audience that you are saying something of particular importance, you might move to a different place on the stage. Or your voice changes rate of speech, rhythm, volume, etc. You can give the same types of indication with slides. Change the background, font style, or positioning of content on the page. Use a series of transitions to go quickly or more slowly through a set of related images. The main objective when wanting to show emphasis is to change it up. Help your audience know the weight of the moment.
   


4. Explain. Now here comes the challenge. And the most frequently cited excuse for not breaking poor communication habits. Use your visual images to explain and teach what you are talking about. It can be done! No matter your content. And if you don’t believe me, or even if you do, take a field trip to the nearest science museum. Watch the videos or slide shows that have been made for children to explain how life began, or spaceships fly or electricity moves. Explaining something by showing it takes more work than just tossing out the words. A few easy fixes to get you started:
   
   - Use visual metaphors. Instead of showing a balance sheet, or even a pie chart, show a picture of the Trump Tower next to the Wrigley Building to explain the comparison of your sales to the competitors. Or take a digital photo of an orange and a tangerine to show shrinking market share. Or if your CEO has a sense of humor, a grape and a raisin.
   
   - Instead of just highlighting an important line of numbers, enlarge it and overlay on the original type. You will not lose the context and the audience will not have to sort through all the chatter on the page.
   
   - Take the axes off your bar or line graphs.
   
   - Instead of using the headings from a complicated financial table, label the enlarged numbers you want to be explained.
   
   
5. Evoke. The last “E” works double duty. First, the goal is to evoke a response from your audience. They should be reacting intellectually and emotionally to what is being shown. The visual is trying to provoke the audience into thinking about what you are saying. Second, you want to evoke a memory as to what you are supposed to be addressing at that moment. Slides should not be lists of bullets or pages of text that serve as your cheat sheet. But if you know what you are going to say, a clever visual reminder is a great way to work without notes.

Share your thoughts on the Five Es. Do you have a success story using one of the Es?

Graphic examples from:
- USA Today Snapshots
- Award-winning and most frequently downloaded SlideShare presentations (Thirst and Shift Happens)
- Presentation Zen

Be Careful What You Hear

Another guest post from another talented ZMF colleague - enjoy! Talk soon, TZ

Effective communication relies not only on good listening, pronunciation of words, and reading nonverbal signals; it also requires awareness of assumptions that exist among us. Factoring in subconscious stereotypes and effective communication can get a little tricky. What made me think of this was a recent encounter I had while walking my dog.

So, I was walking my dog, and another guy was walking his, and as many city dwellers would not be surprised to learn, the two dogs sniffed each other and I engaged in small chit chat with the other dog's owner. Then a third guy was walking past us, without a dog, and seemed to have an important message to relay.

He approached both of us, sounding not frantic but concerned about danger lurking. He said what sounded like, "Watch out across the street over there (he pointed) because there's black guys." The guy I was talking to and I were dumfounded. I know racism still exists in society but I could not believe this guy (by the way we were all white, except for the other dog owner's dog), in downtown Chicago, would find it alarming there were black men walking the streets, let alone feel the urge to warn others about this. I sought clarification. Again he said, "Be careful if you walk in that direction there's some black guys. Stay away." This couldn't be. Just as I was about to ask him where he was from to try and get a sense of why he was petrified of black guys, and enable me to warm up to my lecture on the stupidity and ugliness of his comments, he said it again but this time his nonverbals suggested he was saying something else. As he pointed to the ground, and made a gesture showing what could happen on an unsteady surface, he said, "The black ice is really bad." Plus, he said it in singular form which made me realize he was talking about black ice. Ah, black ice! The ice without air bubbles that makes it transparent and hence taking the color of the material it lies on top of – often wet asphalt.

After realizing he was being helpful and not ignorantly hurtful, I thanked him and did not walk over in the direction he said contained black ice.

Thinking about it all I was struck by the misperception both of us dog owners had about what the third man was trying to warn us about. Was there a larger collective unconscious at work creating stereotypical (negative societal stereotypes about urban black men being dangerous) images out of what was a warning of danger? Or, did the third man just have poor pronunciation, which led to such a bad misunderstanding? Or both? Would his message have been interpreted differently if he were black? Or a woman? How does the "who" involved in communication interact with "what" is being said, heard and interpreted? The other guy with the dog also heard “black guys.” So, was it simply the way he said it that led us to think he was talking about black guys? Is there some unhidden stereotype of black guys that is evoked when a stranger comes up on the street and has a message of foreboding danger?

Listening is important and being aware of biases is too. I conclude that many times during daily interactions that consist of listening it is imperative to “check in” with those you are communicating with. Thinking through what you are hearing, and weighing it against nonverbal language, facts, etc., is key to not making rash judgments. I initially thought this guy was ignorant at best and racist at worst, so what if I hadn’t waited and decided to immediately confront his "racism?” That would have been a useless exercise and made me appear as if I was blindly looking for racism where it didn’t exist. So with that I say not only listen carefully but make sure there is some oversight to your listening by thinking about unchecked assumptions. Oh, and watch out for the black ice!

Alan Tuerkheimer, M.A., J.D. utilizes his background in psychology and law as a litigation consultant for ZMF. His experience conducting jury research has given him an in-depth understanding of people’s attitudes, biases and decision-making processes. He is highly sought-after due to his ability to deliver solutions that bridge the communication gap between trial team and jury. Alan earned his J.D. from the University of Wisconsin Law School and completed his graduate and undergraduate work in Psychology from Connecticut College and University of Wisconsin, respectively.

Have You Got a Case of the Blahs?

Please don't blah blah blah. Instead, finish your sentence or thought. It will be more effective and I will personally appreciate it. Is there a grammatically correct way to use blah blah blah? On email or texting probably. When speaking, rarely. Nonetheless, using it as a crutch because of a lazy brain or small vocabulary makes a speaker sound flip and just plain boring. When is flip appropriate? And why strive for boring? By depending on the blah to fill in for real language, you weaken your point. If it is a verbal habit of yours, keep it in check. People will find you more interesting.

Conquering Stage Fright

zBlog Readers: Looking around our offices, I thought it was high time that I share the knowledge of other ZMF consultants with my readers. This year, I am expanding the blog to include their insights and experiences in visual, verbal and nonverbal communication. Starting today and throughout the next several months, you will see their posts interspersed with mine. I'll be responding to your comments as always and look forward to hearing from you soon.
All my Best, Theresa


President Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear of public speaking.” So, he didn’t actually say that, but the torment the average person feels in anticipation of standing alone before an audience can be overwhelming. You’ve seen the lists ranking public speaking as our biggest fear, ranking ahead of death. It prompted Jerry Seinfeld to say, that means, the average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy.

Why do most of us dread getting up in front of an audience? Because we’re afraid we’ll screw up, forget what we were going to say, trip on our high heels stepping up to the podium or leave our fly open. I’ve done all three. We are afraid we will sound funny or look funny – any number of fears. Notice how many derivations of “we” and “our” were in the previous two sentences? There were seven. That’s the problem. Fear is generated by your self-consciousness, which is defined as being “intensely aware of oneself.” Talk about an ego trip. You know what? People don’t care if you’re nervous. It’s not about you.

To be an effective presenter you must get the focus off yourself. Why are people more outgoing and talkative after they’ve had a few drinks? Because their inhibitions are reduced, if not eliminated. Having a few drinks before a speech is distinctly not recommended. You don’t want to be too uninhibited. Following these steps will help get you in the frame of mind to be the best presenter you can be.

1. PREPARE: If you’re not prepared all the techniques in the world won’t help. Either write out or make a detailed outline of your entire presentation and practice it. Videotape your rehearsal so you can watch how you come across, most of us are mistaken about how we come across.
   
   
2. VOCAL & FACIAL EXERCISES: It is important to loosen up before you perform. You can find a variety of exercises on the Internet, such as exaggerated facial expressions and vowel sounds and recitation of sayings such as, “Sheep shears should be sharp.” Susan Berkley has a helpful two-minute warm-up.
   


3. IMAGING: This helps get the focus off you and onto the audience. As you wait to be introduced look at the audience and intently imagine what you want them to DO, not what to think or what to feel, but what to DO. You may want them to give you a standing ovation, or get out their checkbooks or text their colleagues about how important it is for them to have what you are selling. You give yourself a goal to keep in mind, which alleviates your nervousness.



4. GESTURE: You will have nervous energy. Rather than fidget or play with your wedding ring use that energy in a positive way. This is done by allowing yourself to gesture. It’s very simple. Just keep your hands apart and out of your pockets. Try not to hold onto anything or have your hands folded. You will normally and unconsciously begin to use your hands.



5. SILENCING: This accomplishes so many things. It is vocal punctuation. It’s a segue from one topic to another. It builds anticipation. It gives you a chance to breathe. When you practice, pause longer than you think you should.

If you follow these steps, the veil of your nervousness will be lifted and the audience will be able to learn what you are there to teach them.

Bill Grimes is a communication professional with more than thirty years of experience, the last eighteen of which have been at ZMF. His expertise as a communication consultant is built upon more than fifteen years as a broadcast journalist. Bill is frequently invited to speak about persuasive communication, media training and media crisis management.

(Photo by Victor Jeg at http://www.flickr.com/photos/28405532@N02/2814951286/; license details there.)

HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY – OR IS IT?

One time during a leadership retreat I berated the group for suggesting the word ‘hope’ be integrated in the message we were sending to our employees that year. I firmly asserted that ‘hope’ was not a strategy and that it inspired no one.

Enter Barack Obama.

President Obama may be the best straight out communicator, we the public, have seen in a long time. Much effort will be given to dissect his ability in this area and even more time will be spent comparing him to MLK, the Kennedys, Cicero and Ronald Reagan among others.

So what does my aversion to hope as a strategy have to do with Barack Obama’s rhetoric skills you ask? I HOPE that instead of revering him for his communication prowess that the young and old will strive to do something about their own skill set. I am buoyed by the masses waking up the morning after the inauguration with good intentions of volunteering, giving money and becoming community activists. However, those same people still need to get jobs, make friends, find/keep mates, raise children, influence coworkers, acquire bank loans and so on and so on and so on.

Barack Obama is smart, kind, devoted, driven, and a host of other positive adjectives that could describe countless other people in this country. Why does he stand out above so many others? Because he has the ability to demonstrate those qualities to the people around him. Because he can COMMUNICATE.

I HOPE that after stopping to feed the dogs at the no kill shelter, dropping off coats for the kids who can’t keep warm, feeding the homeless and marching for justice that people stop long enough to understand that if they do all that AND learn how to interact with others there would be no place they could not take their lives.

Example: I know a woman who is in her mid 50s. She is just like you and me except for one thing. Eight out of ten topics that are brought up in conversation end up with her talking about her and the rest of us trying to find a way out of the room before we scream ‘this is not about you’. Someone may be telling her about a person they are having trouble with at work or a recent diagnosis of a serious disease. To make her way into the conversation, instead of showing empathy or asking questions, she goes back to herself.

When I was in the hospital…
When I worked with him…
When my mom had cancer…

Forget for a moment the why. We will leave that to the psychologists. If she would just pick up a book one day or take a class on interpersonal communication or have herself videotaped, she would be able to change a bad habit that is preventing people from wanting to spend time with her. This is only one small example of hundreds of possible communication blunders.

I hope, I hope, I hope that anyone who is having a difficult time in life right now takes all the advice they are getting from all the other sources and then looks hard at the way they are communicating with their friends, kids, colleagues, clients, customers, employees. I am confident there are changes to be made.

How to Deliver Sensitive Advice / Information

Andy Griffith steered Opie through the perils of growing up by telling him stories about himself, Aunt Bee, Barney, Gomer, Goober and Floyd. Can you imagine sitting your 15 year old down to discuss why she should not wear her newly purchased $150 jeans so low that she has to spend an extra $75 waxing and starting with “one time when Aunt Bee was about your age….”? I am just not sure where the story would go from there. Mostly you would get that “and this has what to do with me” look. Or an even bigger stretch might be trying to give a life lesson to a newly hired MBA grad by relating how Floyd behaved his first days on the job.

So if Barney and Goober are of no help, how do we as parents, spouses, bosses, employees and just plain folks help the people around us see the light? The ability to give advice that enhances something besides your own ego is challenging. Try this 4-step TEST and let me know how it goes.

1. TEST 1
   Is your advice really solid advice that can be backed up with some empirical data or is it simply personal opinion? If the latter–STOP.
   




2. TEST 2
   Is it really advice or are you camouflaging a counter perspective and are too much of a weenie to step up and directly disagree. Either way, this is not solid ground for advice giving.
   




3. TEST 3
   Has your advice been asked for? If yes to #1 and #3 proceed. If nobody asked you then probably nobody cares. And, even if they do care and it is good advice, the fact that you gave your ‘recommendation’ without being invited to do so does something to the chemical activity in the brain causing thoughts similar to “who appointed you Dear Abby” to dance in the part of the brain that has the aggravation function.
   
   SUB-PART A OF TEST 3
   If your counsel has not been asked for, is it urgent that you give it anyway? And, if you feel you must give the advice, is there a way to give information and not make a behavioral recommendation which for some reason the human species defies? For example, “A large snake lives in that hole you are about to step in” versus “Don’t put your foot in that hole, there is a snake in there and he is going to bite you.” I guarantee the latter will at least some percentage of the time cause an otherwise rational person to put his foot in the snake hole just to prove you wrong.
   




4. TEST 4
   Are you the right messenger? Regardless, by all means try to hand the job off to someone else. You will be better off for it in the end.

Help Me Please and You Will Like Me Better

Formal theories in communication are generally obscured from the realm of everyday knowledge. The vast majority of people regardless of education level have never heard of the Communication Monograph, Cialdini or of Leakey. Nor do they care. But what we do care about is the practice of the communication theories. Among my favorites is the Rule of Reciprocity. On its face it looks simple enough. I do something nice for you and you then become obligated to do something nice for me. This “you scratch my back and I will scratch yours” practice is a standout in keeping our society moving along. It rules in Washington, DC, it allows Girl Scouts to sell their cookies by the gabillions to parents’ coworkers and it may have been the reason you were successful in your last sexual encounter. Since the beginning of time we know that reciprocity works. Do a favor for someone and chances are good that they are going to do something in return. But what if ASKING FOR FAVORS could produce just as desirable a result as doing them. Now this is something to talk about. For all of you sheepish do-gooders who never find the right moment to ask anyone for anything, listen up. No one appreciates your independence. Exactly the opposite. It makes you untouchable, aloof, overly cautious and downright unfriendly. Forget that “I can do it myself” attitude and snuggle up to needy. A successful and well liked dependant masters the phrases, “may I,” “will you,” “could you” coupled with one of the following:
“borrow,” “watch,” “use,” “go,” “lend,” “have,” etc.

You are at the airport sitting in a crowded boarding area and you see a young woman scanning the nearby crowd. After just a moment or two and after looking right past you, her eyes land on the man sitting right next to you. She leans forward and politely and quietly says to the man, “Would you mind watching my bag while I go to the restroom?” Two things happen simultaneously. The man sitting next to you is flattered by the request, feels like the young woman has paid him a compliment and now feels in some way indebted to the young woman. At the same time you are wondering, “What’s wrong with me, why don’t I get to watch the nice girl’s suitcase?”

When one person asks another for a favor it shows that the “favor asker” trusts the favor doer. I give you money and ask you to run to Starbucks for me. I singled you out, I gave you my money, I trust you to return with what I asked for and my change. You ask your father-in-law to borrow his snow blower. Instead of being aggravated that you can’t go buy your own snow blower he feels that you have confidence in his choice of equipment; that you are comfortable enough with the relationship to borrow things and now you also owe him a favor which is where the obligation from the reciprocity theory comes in.

Why engage this rule of persuasion? If you are trying to be a better communicator then drawing on any established theory can move you along toward being more likable, more persuasive, more understood or empower you in any way toward a better life. It’s a no brainer.
Try it. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

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I Can Charm - Can You?

Cicero wrote that every communication, no matter the purpose, has to have three components. It must Charm, Teach and Move. These ingredients to successful communication should be delivered in order, and every step is required.

First we must charm to get the attention of the listener. Only then will we be able to teach. And then, once the listener has new information, we will be able to move or persuade. According to Cicero all communication is meant to, in some manner, stir the listener into action. In essence, what Cicero advocates is that when you speak or put your pen to paper, you ought to have a purpose for the communication. I doubt he was big into potty training reports or recaps of century old baseball scores.

Let’s examine these communication steps one at time, starting as Cicero would have wanted us to, with CHARM. Charm can materialize in a variety of ways. Think traditional synonyms such as captivate, win over, fascinate. But consider also that charm is the act of gaining credibility or holding your listeners’ interest. A communicator can gain credibility from a remarkable introduction, a killer résumé, a naturally disarming personality, a shocking opening line or simply good humor. Maybe the audience is captivated because there exists a history or extraordinary reputation with the person doing the speaking or writing. Sometimes just seeing a person’s name in print elicits a memory of a positive experience with their work creating a sense of anticipation that fulfills the charm requirement.

As a communicator at home or the office, think of how you will charm, captivate or hold your audience’s attention. What tools or skills do you have to hold the attention of your teenager, spouse or boss? Remember not to charge right into your request or complaint without step one.

Interestingly, some of you never get to this point and others of you never get past it. You may not believe you need to be charming (or gain credibility) when you are in the role of boss, or buying groceries or coaching Little League or purchasing a dress. If so, write down the three best communicators who you know personally. And then assess each person’s method of charm. If you send these to me, we will analyze their techniques in future blogs.

Here are a few I can think of:

• Doctor—looks you right in the eye, touches your hand or arm gently, smiles as if he is really glad that you picked him as your doctor, takes a few extra minutes to warm up before he brings out the plastic models of your body parts.


• Lawyer—is demanding, confident, cocky but uses humor to make each person he comes in contact feel that he is approachable.


• Political Advisor—twinkles when she meets you, forces her energy out of her body and into yours before she even says your name.


• Old Friends—when you knock at their door, they greet you as if they had not seen you for months when it had been only a day or two. Loud “How are you?” and comments like “What a great surprise.”


• My Dad—makes the stranger or new person to the inner circle feel like you are one of the crowd by offering you a chair, food, drink, a story, giving you his full attention no matter who else is in the room.

• A Professor at UofC—when I come to her class to guest lecture every semester she does such an introduction that I am both proud and embarrassed. She accomplishes two things at once, she charms me into guaranteeing that I will do a good job for her and that I will come back next time and she creates credibility for me with the students so I can move to the teaching phase of communication more quickly.

So you are saying to yourself “that all sounds interesting, but nothing new.” I will buy that. Cicero’s writings are really old - around 50 B.C. to be exact. So, why do I still know so many who don’t feel obliged to CHARM? In part is it a lack of self-confidence. Insecure people are more likely to skip this step. Emotionally they are not strong enough to take a chance, which is what this step often requires. Some lack skills or ideas, others do not recognize that they are not bothering to engage their listener. And then, of course, there is the person we all know who feels that by the nature of who they are—the dad, the coach, the CEO, the owner, the client—that winning people over is not necessary to successful communication. They are simply incorrect and sooner or later they will either become frustrated because they think no one does what they want, listens to them or typically this person sooner or later believes they are surrounded by incompetence, disrespect or disinterest. Remember, the burden for successful communication weighs more heavily on the sender of the message than the receiver.

Next time we will talk about teach. That is unless something MOVES me to talk about something else.

See ya next week. And thanks for reading Zblog.

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