Power Pose & Stilettos - Can They Create Confidence?

Yesterday morning, I happened to catch Hoda and Kathie Lee while at the airport. Interestingly, the segment I watched featured two life coaches opining on how to "Create Confidence".  They advised adopting a "power pose," citing research which demonstrated that a power pose for as little as two minutes can boost confidence, making people feel more powerful and more willing to take risks.

The segment continued with advice on how to be more assertive and improve your confidence when walking into a business. Their first piece of advice: "wear stilettos". The positive attributes of that instruction are aligned with research that indicates taller is better and taller is more attractive which is also better and sex sells which is ...well, a fact. However, this strategy fails if you have to walk either fast or any distance. Try and walk six blocks on uneven concrete  to a meeting dragging a wheelie bag. Not only will you fail at impressing, your flat shoed male colleagues will end up either waiting for you, or not.

As an expert in communication, I endorse the idea of using space and body language to your advantage. However, a stiletto might not have been my first go to accessory to suggest. 

What's your "go to" confidence booster? 

Whoa, Phil, know when to tune it down!

I’ve posted examples of bad corporate communication before – (see here, here, here and here). But just when I thought I’d seen it all, I stumbled across this video during my travels on Twitter today. This campaign speech by a candidate running for Stark County, Ohio Treasurer is going viral all over the web – and not in a good way. Phil Davidson is the poster child for Horrific Communication.

Mr. Davidson has a highly educated background, which includes a Master’s Degree in Communication, yet his delivery sounds more like that of a professional wrestler or raging bull entering a rodeo ring than a political candidate. I felt sorry for the people in the first row of his audience. No doubt with Davidson’s uncontrollable zeal they were both scared and spat upon.

There is so much wrong with the presentation that it is not even worthy of diagnosis. Given how awful the speech was, there’s a plethora of rules that were broken, such as his disjointed delivery, his quivery voice, the continued frantic pacing and obvious need for more rehearsal time. But my biggest question is where are his confidants? No doubt they too were frightened from the room.

Mr. Davidson could have saved himself from becoming the laughing stock of the Internet – by seeking honest feedback during his preparation. [And we know he prepared because he jumped back to his notes continuously.] Presentations should always be rehearsed – first, videotape yourself and play it back to make improvements, then as your preparation progresses gather a live audience to rehearse in front of – your family, your colleagues, your neighbors, any breathing person with a pulse. Just don’t trust yourself to deliver the speaker and the audience perspective. Someone should have told Mr. Davidson how far off the mark his delivery was and provided constructive comments on how to improve. This is comparable to those American Idol contestants who show up thinking they are the next pop star, but can’t hold a tune at all. Why didn’t their family members say: “You sound like a screeching bird, please don’t humiliate yourself on national TV.”

The whole speech was just so wrong that I am hoping it is a gag. In which case, our howls of laughter that rose exponentially with every sentence were justified.

Likeability in an essential component for any politician’s electability and Mr. Davidson is only likeable here for his comedic relief. Sadly, Mr. Davidson failed to win his party’s nomination for the treasurer campaign … can’t imagine why.

How to Knock Someone's Socks Off!

Combine energy with a smile and you get a magic personality. I had the benefit of working with a woman last week who knocked my socks off. Not because she was smart. Maybe she was, maybe she’s not. I have no idea if we share common interests. Don’t really know much about her at all. In four days, I only spoke to her a handful of times. What I did get to do is watch her. Nonverbally, (let’s call her L) L twinkled. Yes, I said twinkled. She had so much positive energy that men and women were naturally drawn to her. Kind of like a bug to one of those bug lights. Okay, so not like that. This quality is difficult to describe. On the face, it looks like a person who is meeting an old friend, or is opening birthday presents, or watching a toddler on a pony ride. There is generosity, warmth, surprise and curiosity. And movement, lots of movement. The body moves, hands move, legs, posture, feet ever shifting; not frenetically, but with interest and excitement. Hand gestures, lots of touching, and comfortable within her body.

So maybe this is not your style. But to make yourself just a little more likeable, show your energy in your own way. If you have a good voice, keep your hands away from your face, look people in the eye and speak to show your energy. If all you can muster is a smile, make it big and constant. Lean forward, use gestures, stand up, hug, wink, walk. Think Barney the big purple dinosaur. There is a reason he smiles, dances and waves his arms around. Energy is a magnet at any age. It was nice to meet you L.

Tattoo This

Hello Readers - ZMFer Alan Tuerkheimer is filling in with a guest blog for me since I have spent more time on airplanes than on laptops recently. Talk soon! Warmly, Theresa

Who here thinks about the 1981 Rolling Stones album “Tattoo You” upon hearing the word “Tattoo” 28 years later? Probably not many. Probably not even the members of the Rolling Stones who released that album nearly three decades ago. Back in the ‘80s, my association with “Tattoo” was that album. Since then, society has undergone a rapid transformation from a time when tattoos were the exclusive body design of felons, Hell’s Angels, and seriously rebellious teens. Nowadays, you don’t even have to look carefully to see how mainstream tattoos have become and how many people you would never expect to have them, have them. Men in Armani suits, middle-age women, professionals, salespeople, appellate lawyers, real young, real old, real educated, real uneducated, the list goes on and on and on.

A study in The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology showed that about 24% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 50 have at least one tattoo, and that 36% of those between 18 and 29 have a tattoo.

So what exactly does having a tattoo mean? Is it purely symbolic? Why do people decide to permanently burn a display onto their skin? And of those, how many regret doing it later in life (or 20 minutes later)? Is there significance to where on someone’s body it is? Surely where and what it is means something. Answers to these questions get at the overarching question of what do tattoos communicate? Since communication is a two-way street, we have to look at what the person with the tattoo wants to convey, or more accurately what he or she is conveying, and what the person looking at it interprets the tattoo to mean.

My psychologist friend thinks that those with tattoos covering their entire body have a fear of forming and sustaining attachments to others. Many people will shun someone full of tattoos, so tattoos all over someone’s face and body typically serve as a barrier to anything deeper than superficial personal interaction. However, those who can look past the shell of tattoos are less likely to turn away from that person once they penetrate through the wall of tattoos.

One quick note, I personally agree with NY Times columnist David Brooks who feels that, while there are exceptions, most people who have tattoos thought they were unique and doing something only few others were doing. However, now, they are realizing all they have done is something incredibly mainstream, non-rebellious and non-individualistic. Since many people initially got tattoos thinking they would be making a statement and were being rebellious, it is ironic that now only the truest of non-conformists seem not to have tattoos.

So I decided to give it a shot and ask people their thoughts. Here are some of the consistent thematic responses my question generated. Remember, I just asked what people think of tattoos and what they think of people who have them.

• Tattoos are fine if they are tactful.
• People are trying to satisfy some internal desire to take a walk on the wild side/be naughty while being able to keep it hidden when desired.
• If you get one, I hear you want another.
• If you get one, people regret getting them.
• They make people feel special, unique, powerful.
• It is a 'tramp stamp' for women and for men they want to impress people (i.e., with the “look at my biceps burst through barbed wire” tattoo).
• It is a statement. Not sure what. Depends on tattoo.

Interestingly, people often go into personal stories about their own tattoos, as if an excuse or story is necessary to justify the ink. For example, someone who knows someone who got a tattoo and then a month later broke up with the person who inspired them to get it in the first place. Drunken stories about people getting tattoos and then having mixed reactions the very next day abound. Many of the people asked also took on a defensive posture when answering the question, as if the question itself seems to search for criticism of people who have tattoos. The point is that similar to many topics, there is an array of opinions about and experience with tattoos that makes it difficult to generalize what is communicated by having one. Other than the situation and venue (i.e., bar versus job interview) what will help determine what a tattoo communicates is a) what the tattoo is, b) the relationship of the people communicating, c) any incongruity with the tattoo and the person, and d) the range of attitudes people hold about tattoos in general.

Alan Tuerkheimer, M.A., J.D. utilizes his background in psychology and law as a litigation consultant for ZMF. His experience conducting jury research has given him an in-depth understanding of people’s attitudes, biases and decision-making processes. He is highly sought-after due to his ability to deliver solutions that bridge the communication gap between trial team and jury. Alan earned his J.D. from the University of Wisconsin Law School and completed his graduate and undergraduate work in Psychology from Connecticut College and University of Wisconsin, respectively.

What’s in a Face?

Another guest post this week from fellow ZMFer Eliza Shepherd ...

In a previous post, Theresa discussed the growing inquiry about the hit television show on Fox called “Lie to Me.” What makes the show so intriguing is that it is based off the work of Dr. Paul Ekman, a world-renown face reading expert and “human lie detector.” Through his research, Dr. Ekman found that “micro-expressions” (brief facial expressions) can reveal true emotions a person may be trying to conceal, such as deceit. Dr. Ekman’s work illustrates just how powerful and integral nonverbal cues are in communicating effectively. Consider the following:

1. The most successful communicators are masters of emotional intelligence.
   
2. Processing of nonverbal facial cues occurs without our conscious awareness, and when the cues are brought to our attention, we cannot ignore them.
   
3. A mere 100 millisecond exposure to a face is sufficient enough to form specific trait judgments about an individual.
   
4. This rapid and unconscious processing of morphological cues makes physiognomy a potent component in first impressions.
   
5. Facial appearances of competence predict candidate electability. Todorov, Mandisodza, Goren, and Hall (2005) found that inferences of competence based from facial appearance accurately predicted the outcomes in U.S. Congressional election 68.8% of the time.
   
6. Remember, estimates suggest that 80% of communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal cues, whether they are facial expressions, posture, tone, or eye contact etc., are more important than the words you use.

Take this test to discover how good you are at reading facial expressions.

Eliza Shepherd combines her background in Psychology with practical research experience in impression management, group decision making, nonverbal communication and leadership in her role as Associate Consultant. Shepherd lends her expertise in research design and analysis to ZMF’s jury research projects nationwide, including focus groups, mock trials, post-trial interviews, zOpinions (online surveys), and venue attitudes surveys.

Body Language in the Press

Normally, when a ZMFer is quoted in the news, its published in the section reserved for "In the News". Today, we are breaking that rule for an article I was quoted in called "Body Language Decoded"- right on target for a blog about communication. Published on Forbes.com, the article does a great job of explaining how important nonverbal behaviors are in conveying your message to your audience. I love the specific examples and practical suggestions for improvement.