My Thoughts on Tiger Part 3 – How He Said It

In my last two blogs, we talked about Tiger’s media strategy and the rhetoric he used to convey his apology. As I mentioned yesterday, his written message seemed inconsistent with the nonverbal signals he was giving his audience. So, let’s discuss this further …

Who was the audience anyway? My mother-in-law used to tell us that, if someone asks for your forgiveness, you should say to them verbally and nonverbally, “I accept.” Maybe that should be a guide, only ask forgiveness from those you want to accept your apology. If you don’t want Ralph Whipple from Des Moines, Iowa calling and saying “I accept,” then you might just have the wrong audience.

Which emotion was being controlled and which was being telegraphed? At times, Tiger’s nonverbal behavior seemed scripted and over rehearsed. Other times, his demeanor seemed genuine but bordering on pre-pounce status. Tiger used deliberate head shakes, pauses, wide-eyed gazes, an unmoving lower jaw and eye contact with the audience and camera, but did he use them effectively? His facial expressions (micro-movement) showed a range of emotions including fear, relief, anger, sadness, embarrassment – sounds about right to me.

His eye contact with the in-person audience and camera improved as the statement progressed. His obvious nervousness at the beginning caused sweeping glances across his audience, preventing him from building any connection with individuals. Eye contact is a necessity to build engagement within your audience; without it, your audience loses interest and tunes out your message. About two minutes in, his eye contact improves with longer, pointed glances at specific audience members and the statement “I have let down my fans” made directly to the camera. It would have benefited him to practice and memorize sections of the speech so his eye contact could have been more natural and consistent, instead of looking down to his script every few seconds.

Because he referenced that script so often, Tiger’s use of pauses and silence within the speech could have been more effective. He chose unnecessary spots to add a lengthy pause, which broke up his delivery. Conversely, he sometimes rushed through his delivery and statements that would have benefited from the emphasis of a pause didn’t get the appropriate attention. The formatting on his script could have helped with this. I use section breaks or page breaks to provide cues when a longer pause is warranted. I advise my clients to write “PAUSE” where a deliberate pause should be included. Rehearsing your statement using visual reminders within your script will make the behavior more ingrained when you are presenting on the ‘big stage’. But you must rehearse.

I do want to acknowledge one example of a well-placed pause which stood out for its effectiveness. At about three and a half minutes in, Tiger says ‘For all that I have done … (long pause, look straight at camera, big swallow, deep breath) … I am so sorry.’ This statement, more than any other, suggested that Tiger understood the gravity of his actions and his nonverbal actions worked with the rhetoric to communicate the emotion.

Tiger’s delivery would have benefited from more variation in his voice. The ‘speech’ was largely monotone, causing the words and sentences to run together and sound the same. Two specific sections demonstrate where Tiger’s voice varied more and specific words were emphasized. First when Tiger is denying rumors of domestic violence and commending Elin for her grace during the ordeal, and then when he demands the press leave his children alone by saying, “They staked out my wife and pursued my mom … please leave my wife and kids alone.” In both of these segments, Tiger’s vocal tone changes, causing the viewer to take note. You can hear emotions like care, concern and even defiance in his voice. If the rest of the statement had been as strong vocally as these two sections, the audience would have been more engaged.

We’ve discussed Tiger at length over the past three blogs. I don’t often dwell on a particular topic for multiple posts, but given the media attention and scrutiny Tiger’s statement received, a detailed reaction seemed warranted. While Tiger may be the world’s greatest golfer, presentation skills and messaging don’t translate from the greens to a podium. If you want your message to be believed and considered authentic by your audience, your visual, verbal and nonverbal communication must be strategic and consistent. Failing in any of these areas equals a failed opportunity to deliver your message to your audience.

One other item of note: what was up with mom? From where I sat, she could not look at her son. Aside from a few quick glimpses at him, her eyes were focused on the floor or off to the side of the room. Even when Tiger specifically refers to her “I hurt my mother,” she stares directly at the floor. We investigated whether it was due to cultural differences, but found nothing that would suggest a reason for the lack of eye contact. Consider when you have watched someone speak and you don’t buy in to what they are saying, do you look at them or no? If they are foe, you will look at them, challenge them with your eyes, but if you are emotionally tied to the person and cannot send good energy, then it is best to send none at all. Hmmmm.

What’s in a Face?

Another guest post this week from fellow ZMFer Eliza Shepherd ...

In a previous post, Theresa discussed the growing inquiry about the hit television show on Fox called “Lie to Me.” What makes the show so intriguing is that it is based off the work of Dr. Paul Ekman, a world-renown face reading expert and “human lie detector.” Through his research, Dr. Ekman found that “micro-expressions” (brief facial expressions) can reveal true emotions a person may be trying to conceal, such as deceit. Dr. Ekman’s work illustrates just how powerful and integral nonverbal cues are in communicating effectively. Consider the following:

1. The most successful communicators are masters of emotional intelligence.
   
2. Processing of nonverbal facial cues occurs without our conscious awareness, and when the cues are brought to our attention, we cannot ignore them.
   
3. A mere 100 millisecond exposure to a face is sufficient enough to form specific trait judgments about an individual.
   
4. This rapid and unconscious processing of morphological cues makes physiognomy a potent component in first impressions.
   
5. Facial appearances of competence predict candidate electability. Todorov, Mandisodza, Goren, and Hall (2005) found that inferences of competence based from facial appearance accurately predicted the outcomes in U.S. Congressional election 68.8% of the time.
   
6. Remember, estimates suggest that 80% of communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal cues, whether they are facial expressions, posture, tone, or eye contact etc., are more important than the words you use.

Take this test to discover how good you are at reading facial expressions.

Eliza Shepherd combines her background in Psychology with practical research experience in impression management, group decision making, nonverbal communication and leadership in her role as Associate Consultant. Shepherd lends her expertise in research design and analysis to ZMF’s jury research projects nationwide, including focus groups, mock trials, post-trial interviews, zOpinions (online surveys), and venue attitudes surveys.

The Likeability Factor

It’s a well-known effect and it happens everywhere, regularly. You surround yourself with those you like. Coming off the biggest election in history, political pundits everywhere were talking about the “likeability factor.” In fact, you may have heard in the New Hampshire primary debate, when Senator Clinton was asked, “What can you say to the voters of New Hampshire who…are hesitating on the likeability issue?” Rather than furthering a discussion on health care, the economy or the war in Iraq, the moderator chose to ask a question about likeability. Why?

According to Gallup’s “Personality Factor Poll,” it turns out that, in politics, the single best determination of electability is likeability (and height – but that is for another post entirely). Not knowledge, not experience, not the candidate’s position on a specific issue – likeability. The likeability factor is a topic that could and should be paralleled to the everyday world. If you are willing to elect the leader of a country based on whether you like them (or not), shouldn’t working for, with and around people you like, be equally as important. Many CEOs and senior management should be grateful they are not elected by their constituents as many would likely end up with Kerry or McCain, at the bottom on the likeability heap.

When a new client recently hired us to help them improve their communication style in the real estate world, the conversation quickly turned to likeability. In their words ‘our business is about being likeable. You get business because decision makers choose to work with those they like and people refer business to those they like.’

In simple terms, if you visit a restaurant and eat food you don’t like, do you return again? Likely – no. You’ll just eat dinner at the restaurant down the street and look for a better dining experience. Not surprisingly, research reveals that people respond positively to those they like. Some studies suggest that in more than 80% of buying situations, an individual’s likeability was responsible for the decision-maker’s determination of who earns their business.

Those who are likeable regularly smile, laugh, show authentic concern for others and utilize eye contact to help convey their message and research says they are rewarded for their efforts. Likeable people are more successful, get elected, promoted or rewarded more often, make more money and get better service from all service providers.

I want to hear from you. What is your most important factor when selecting your hairdresser, your doctor or your babysitter – the person’s likeability or their knowledge? Would you ever go to a hairdresser/barber or doctor if you didn’t like them? Have you ever hired someone you didn’t like? If so, what drove you to work with them rather than hiring someone equally qualified?


Kristin Fitzgerald has been a part of the communication consulting team at ZMF since 1999. In her ten years with ZMF, Kristin has worked in both the research and multimedia departments to provide persuasive techniques to improve communication. Kristin has worked closely with clients on the development of intranets, newsletters design and to provide flexible communication solutions oriented to their audience.

These Eyes

We all know the advantages of eye contact. But, have you really given the “avoid looking at me” strategy a chance? There are times when eye contact simply gets in the way of good communication. This is especially true when you want to lie, have to admit a wrongdoing, or are asking for a new ________________ (fill in the blank: bass boat, fur coat, diamond ring, Bentley, etc).

Don’t be put off by the idea that lack of eye contact only means something is not quite right. There are more honorable uses for the no eye contact technique. It works particularly well on teens, but could also be useful for husbands (well, I have to write what I know) who don’t like to have “deep” conversations on topics such as, “how was work today, honey?” And I think it also could work for job candidates or future son-in-laws. Really the possibilities are endless.

Every mother of a child over 16 knows this technique. Put the kid in the car, turn the radio to your music, not theirs, and start driving. If you can plan to travel during a rainstorm and at night, your position is strengthened. Of course, there are some preparatory measures. “Forget” all power cords and adapters that can be used in the car. Let the target’s phone, DVD player, laptop battery run down, and find a reason to drive for a distance longer than two hours preferably on a road that requires little of your own extensive driving skills. Once the ideal conditions are set, and the target is seat belted and power locked in, you are ready to begin.

But don’t start communicating right away. Immediate jabbering or grilling has the potential to sabotage good planning. First, you turn the radio up a bit as if you also do not care to have a verbal exchange. If you are lucky something thematic like Frankie Valli whining, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” will be playing. Listen to a few songs, then about the time you think the teen is going to crack from thirty minutes of the best of the 50s, 60s or 70s, turn the volume down and tell them something about yourself. “Hey, did you know I started taking a class in fencing?” Expected response, “uh huh.” Keep this up for a short while and then turn the music back up. In a few minutes back down goes the music. This is sort of like doing reps and sets at the gym. On your third set don’t turn the music volume back up. By now you have clearly established that you are in control of the radio which will be essential later when conversation gets ‘deep’. The silence, with no cell phone, video game, laptop computer to distract will serve as the impetus for the target to finally say something. It might not be much but you seize upon it like a government inspector on an American Airlines’ plane. JUST DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT. No loving glances, no winking, blinking or even looking out the passenger side mirror to avoid the 18 wheeler who you are certain has a sleeping driver aboard. As long as everybody stares straight ahead, the magic of the no eye contact technique will begin to loosen tongues of even the most strident silent type. And then with Helen Reddy quietly singing “I Am Woman” in the background, you will be able to find out what you did wrong as a parent, why he really hated high school that last year, what his dreams and fears are for the future. Or in the case of your husband you might find out how his day really was at work.

Why does this work? I do not know and have not taken the time or really cared to research it. I just know it works. Besides, as with many theories, the why is not really relevant. Maybe staring straight ahead makes us feel like we are talking mostly to ourselves. My best audience. Maybe we avoid the threatening or judgmental look that, whether imaginary or real, we learn to avoid lest it makes us feel small, not good enough or embarrassed. So, as with all rules, “look a person straight in the eye when you speak to them,” there is the exception.